The gods embrace, or perhaps embody, paradox. While they encouraged me to control anger, they have also helped me to use it. Control, after all, does not mean suppress or eliminate; paradox and contradiction are rarely that if one looks deeply enough. There have been times when I have been well-rooted in my anger, willing to stand my ground when I otherwise would not have had the strength, and I have been amazed at the results.
Over the past two or three years I have managed the household finances, and there have been times when money has been tight beyond tight. When obstacles have become insurmountable, something comes along to help surmount them. Tax refund. Inheritance. Unclaimed funds returned.
And while I have seen some friendships wither on the vine, others have sprung up, stronger than any I’ve had before, supporting my need for acceptance and community in ways I do not expect.
In the past, I gave up on religion when times were dark, because I did not have the strength to believe. I still lack belief in the dark times, but as I follow an orthopraxic path, all I must do is keep up with my routine, and the gods take care of the rest, whether I believe in them or not.